How to Tell Your Boyfriend You’re Unexpectedly Pregnant

Girl texting boyfriend about being pregnant

Discovering that you’re unexpectedly pregnant can trigger a wide range of emotions and questions. One of the most significant challenges is how to tell your partner. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll delve into the process of breaking the news to your partner, navigating their initial reaction, discussing pregnancy options, and ensuring you make the best decision together. We’ll also explore the importance of an unbiased approach and offer valuable tips on managing an unplanned pregnancy.

Taking the Pregnancy Test

Choosing and Using a Home Pregnancy Test

When you suspect you might be pregnant, the first step is to select the right pregnancy test. Home pregnancy tests are readily available at drugstores and are highly reliable when used correctly. These tests detect the presence of a hormone called hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) in your urine, which is produced during pregnancy. Follow the instructions meticulously to obtain accurate results, and remember to remain calm while awaiting the outcome of the test.

Confirming the Results

Once you’ve taken the test and it confirms your pregnancy, it’s essential to accept and process this information personally before sharing it with your partner. Give yourself the time and space to absorb the news, as this will help you be better prepared for the conversation that lies ahead.

Preparing for the Conversation

Acknowledge Your Emotions

Before you tell your partner, it’s vital to come to terms with your own emotions. An unplanned pregnancy can lead to a whirlwind of feelings, including excitement, fear, and uncertainty. Take the time to identify and acknowledge these emotions. Understanding your own perspective on the situation will provide a solid foundation for discussing the matter with your partner.

Consider Your Partner’s Feelings

As you wonder how to tell your boyfriend or partner, keep in mind that their initial reaction may be unpredictable. They might be thrilled, shocked, or anxious. Anticipating their feelings allows you to approach the conversation with empathy and patience, regardless of their initial response.

Breaking the News

Choose the Right Moment

Timing is everything. Select a suitable time to share your surprise pregnancy when you both have privacy and can dedicate ample time to the conversation. Avoid discussing it during arguments or when you’re both stressed; instead, opt for a calm and relaxed environment. Choosing the right moment can set the stage for a productive conversation.

Be Honest and Direct

When you sit down to tell your partner, be clear and honest about the situation. Avoid beating around the bush or using vague language. Start the conversation by stating that you’ve taken a pregnancy test, and it confirmed your pregnancy. This straightforward approach sets the tone for an open and transparent discussion.

The Importance of Communication

Effective communication is key during this conversation. Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings as well. A two-way dialogue is essential for understanding each other’s perspectives and concerns. Listen actively and validate your partner’s emotions, even if they differ from your own.

Navigating Their Initial Reaction

Empathize and Listen

After sharing the news, give your partner the opportunity to react and express their emotions. They may need time to process the information and come to terms with the unexpected pregnancy. Be patient and empathetic, understanding that this is a significant revelation for both of you. Encourage them to share their thoughts and concerns openly.

Managing Different Reactions

It’s essential to be prepared for various reactions from your partner. They may express excitement, shock, worry, or a combination of emotions. Remember that everyone processes news differently. Stay patient and avoid judgment, as your partner’s initial reaction may evolve over time.

Discussing Next Steps

Engage in a Thoughtful Conversation

Once the initial shock subsides, it’s time to have a thoughtful conversation about the next steps. This may include discussing pregnancy options and considering how you both envision the future. Remember that you’re in this together, and your partner’s input is crucial in making informed decisions.

Pregnancy Options

Explore all available pregnancy options together. These typically include:

Keeping the Baby

Discuss the possibility of raising the child together. Consider your readiness for parenthood, your support network, and your financial situation. Delve into your long-term plans as a family.


Explore the option of adoption if raising the child is not the right choice for you at this time. Research adoption agencies and understand the process involved in giving a child up for adoption.


If you both decide that termination is the best course of action, research local clinics, and gather information on the procedure. Make sure to consider the emotional and psychological aspects of this decision.

Seeking Professional Guidance

When facing such a life-altering decision, seeking professional guidance is a wise choice. A counselor or healthcare provider can offer unbiased advice and help you navigate the complexities of each option. They can also provide emotional support during this challenging time.

The Importance of an Unbiased Approach

Stay Neutral

Throughout this process, it’s crucial to remain neutral and unbiased. Avoid imposing your own preferences on your partner, and encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings freely. This ensures that the decisions you make together are based on a fair and balanced discussion.

Making the Best Decision Together

Weighing the Pros and Cons

Take the time to weigh the pros and cons of each pregnancy option thoroughly. Consider your individual circumstances, such as your relationship, financial stability, and emotional readiness. Keep in mind that the decision you make will shape your future together, so it’s essential to choose the path that aligns with both of your aspirations and values.

Unplanned Pregnancy Tips

Navigating an unplanned pregnancy can be challenging, but these tips can help:

  • Open and Honest Communication: Keep the lines of communication with your partner open throughout the process.
  • Seek Support: Lean on friends, family, or support groups who can offer guidance and emotional support.
  • Educate Yourself: Research pregnancy, parenting, and adoption to make informed decisions.

Telling the Father

In many cases, telling the father of the child about the pregnancy is a significant step. Approach this conversation with the same honesty and empathy you used with your partner. Their involvement and support are crucial in making the best decision for your future.

Time to Tell Him

Breaking the news about an unexpected pregnancy can be challenging, but it’s a pivotal moment in your relationship. By approaching the conversation with honesty, empathy, and a commitment to making decisions together, you and your partner can navigate this surprise pregnancy with care and consideration. Remember that you’re a team, and facing this situation together will help you both find the best path forward. Take your time, communicate openly, and support each other as you make choices that will shape your future. Your shared journey begins with this big news, and how you handle it can set the tone for your future together.

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Charlotte Swanson

Charlotte Swanson has been a professional writer and motivational speaker for 20 years. She founded The Adoption Movement to help provide unbiased resources to families and pregnant women considering adoption.

Articles from the The Adoption Movement